The Ten Point Guide
by LadySaxophone
Summary: Anakin vs his twins. Obi Wan and Padme place bets!
1. Prologue

AN: Sorry...I'm still not completely free from the plot bunnies sprung from "The Life He Deserved"...so it's within that same AU. Could be read as a stand alone though.

**/Obi Wan's comments/**

_/Padme's comments/_

Padme Amidala sat on her couch anxiously waiting. She had kicked her husband out of the house today claiming she needed "some time for herself." Anakin had instantly agreed of course, making Padme feel a tad guilty, but her ploy had effectively gotten the twins and Anakin out of the house for the day. Now all she had to do was await her visiter.

Luckily (for Padme's nerves), she didn't have to wait to long. The long awaited ginger haired Jedi Master walked in briskly. Upon seeing her, he smiled broadly and a bit wickedly.

"How did you manage to get him out of the house?" He questioned as she rose to embrace him.

"Oh I'm his wife, Obi Wan. I have my ways." She responded mischeviously.

"Well thank the Force for that! How else would we ever be able to do it?"

Padme regretfully nodded, "You're right, he would never understand. Now why don't you come down here," Padme sat back down on the couch and padded the cushion next to her, "and let's get it over and done with."

"I prefer to do it standing." was the unexpected responce. Padme rolled her eyes.

"I don't want you looming over me. Why don't you want to sit down?"

Obi Wan blushed a deep scarlet, "I don't want to ruin your pretty couch."

Padme again rolled her eyes, she found herself doing that quite often when in the presence of Kenobi.

"As if Luke and Leia don't ruin it enough. Just sit down, I'll have Threepio clean the couch up after us."

Obi Wan looked hesitant, but eventually he simply shrugged and sat down next to her, although, he did shed his dirty brown Jedi robe. Padme smirked.

"And now, to business." She said sitting up a little straighter. It was now Obi Wan's turn to roll his eyes.

"Padme, it's just me. You don't need to act like this is a Senate meeting."

Padme flushed, "Sorry, I just got out of one of those. It lasted six hours!"

"Ah," Obi Wan responded reaching over to pat Padme's knee sympathetically, "So you need this then? A little stress reliever."

"Exactly," Padme grinned, Obi Wan always understood her.

"Anyway I thought we'd look over the Ten Point Guide before we got started." Obi Wan sighed.

"Padme, we WROTE the Ten Point Guide. I hardly think we need to review, we're practically experts! Besides, you already had me make a copy just in case we lost the sheet."

Padme glared at her companion.

"This is serious business, Kenobi! I'll not have you forgetting our rules."

"You're acting like our lives are on the line! Relax, all you're going to have to do is buy me a nice new pair of boots."

Padme laughed at that, "Boots? Ha! You, Obi Wan, are going to have to make us breakfast come Life Day. I'm quite confident that I'm going to win."

Obi Wan looked away uncomfortably, "Well I guess it all depends on Anakin then."

"Yes it does. I'm quite surprised Master Kenobi." Padme said loftily, " You bet on ANAKIN. You were his Master, Obi Wan! And on top of that you're his best friend, you should know what his limits are."

Obi Wan didn't back down, "Padme, I've seen Anakin handle battle droids, terrorists, SITH LORDS! I think he can manage his two five year old children."

Amidala just smiled, "We'll see about that! Now let's look over that guide."

Obi Wan and Padme's Ten Point Guide to Taking Care of the Twins

1. The twins are in bed on time = 10 points

**Just 10 points? Padme, I can barely get them to bed on time! I say at least 30!**

_You just don't want to loose!_

**Come on now. There's TWO of them! You're telling me you get them both to bed on time?**

_Well...Alright I see your point. 30 points it is. Bed time still 8:30?_

**Let's make it 9:00. They can be pretty persuasive when they want to be.**

_**...**__Fine_

1* The twins are in bed on time = 30 points

2. No giving in

_That means no sneaking them extra sweets, no extending their bed time, no bending the rules to "allow them their fun"..._

**Padme, Anakin has withstood torture and he hasn't given in...**

3. They are given a nutritious dinner = 15 points

**Does that include instant reheats?**

_Yes, because I've only ever seen him make breakfast. I'm thinking there's a good reason I haven't seen him actually cook something besides eggs._

**Oh there is, believe me! Does food from Dex's count?**

_Don't push it_

4. No one gets hurt =50 points

_It's ten points off per injury_

**What if they're just complaining you know? Not seriously hurt.**

_He would never let them get seriously hurt! That's why we allowed him to stay with them! Any injury counts._

5. No fights =100 points

**Ten points off I presume for each fight they get into?**

_For every normal fight, but he'll get a couple back if he effectively resolves it_

**Duration doesn't count then**

_It does, but that'll be up to our discretion_

6. No loosing them = 5 points

**I think that should be a little more, considering how many times he lost his lightsaber. Looking after things is a little harder for Anakin.**

_Does 15 please you?_

**I think 25**

_I say 20, that's my limit_

**Deal**

7. Giving them comfort = 10 points

**Just 10?**

_I'm not going to budge on this one. He's ALWAYS comforting them! Even when they don't really need comfort_

8. The house remains clean (and/or they clean up after themselves) = 50 points

_I'll also give him points if he himself cleans up after them. _

**Well, did you come home to a dirty home?**

_Yes, but Master Windu had come over._

9. Nothing gets broken =15 points

**Don't you already know if he got those points?**

_They could've hidden the evidence. And it's 5 points off for everything broken_

10. No using the Force = 80 points

**Padme, he's the Chosen One! He's got the highest midichlorian count ever seen. It's natural for him to use the Force. If he doesn't I think he should get 100 points**

_I manage just fine without the Force_

**Well, quite frankly, you're a little scary...**

_Excuse me?_

**I mean...um...you've never had the Force! **

_Fine, 100 points._

***Extra Points are given (or taken away) at the discretion of Obi Wan and/or Padme for anything extra Anakin might have done for/to the Twins

End of the Ten Point Guide

"It's a good thing we went over it. YOU were the one who kept making changes!" Padme said smugly.

"To think this all started just because you said you were the only disciplinarian."

"I AM the only disciplinarian. You spoil them! And here I'd thought that you'd be an ally because you were so strict with Anakin."

"Well, Padme, they're not really mine to raise." Obi Wan pointed out, a little too happily, "And besides you have Anakin to help you."

"That's what I'm trying to disprove." Padme turned toward the recording.

"By the way, where did you hide those cameras?" Obi Wan asked, looking around.

Padme chuckled impishly, "Wouldn't you like to know."

She turned on the recording.

AN: the next chapter is Anakin dealing with 5-year-old Skywalker twins. Padme and Obi Wan will be commenting and giving/taking away points. Obi Wan's rooting for his padawan and if Anakin gets alot of points Padme buys Obi Wan new boots. If Anakin doesn't get alot of points Obi Wan has to make breakfast for the Skywalkers on Life Day. Sooo...this was supposed to be kind of funny. Did you laugh?


	2. The Floor is Lava

AN: Thank you to all who reviewed this! I was tickled pink. All those hours spent babysitting are coming in handy…just a disclaimer though, I am a better babysitter than Ani.

Another disclaimer: I now own Star Wars! I found the rights to it in my box of cereal this morning! :D (Translation: LadySaxophone does NOT own Star Wars…or cereal)

/What's going on in the recording/

_/Padme's comments/_

**/Obi Wan's comments/**

_**/SIMULTANOUS OUTRAGE/**_

Anakin Skywalker Part 1

The holo began with a blue Padme standing in front of her two children, to kiss them goodbye.

"Bye, loves. I won't be gone long." She bent down to extract Leia from her leg.

"We'll miss you, Mommy!" five year old Luke exclaimed, throwing his short arms around Padme's free leg.

"I'll miss you too, darling. But you have your father to take care of you." Padme reached out and ruffled her son's too long blond hair. Her little boy nodded very seriously.

"We'll be good for him, Mommy. Won't we Leia?"

Leia took her thumb out of her mouth to nod all the more vigorously.

Holo Padme waved her hand dismissively, "Oh, don't bother…"

**PADME!**

_Sorry, I was just…tipping the odds in my favor. _

**That was cheating. Anakin gets at least 5 extra points.**

_Hey! That's not fair. Then my whole plan goes to naught._

**Yes, well, you know what they say: cheaters never prosper.**

Padme coughed awkwardly at her twin's gaping stares. She quickly bent down and enveloped both of them in her arms.

"Now, have fun and stay safe!" With that, she stood up and walked out the door.

"But Mommy! You forgot to say goodbye to dadd-…" Luke screeched for all he was worth, but his mother had already left the apartment. The twins looked at each other.

"She acted weird…"

"Yeah…wanna go work on the robot?"

"YEAH!"

The camera flipped to Luke's bedroom where the boy dumped a collection of odd looking droid parts all over the floor.

**Like father, like son….how did the cameras follow them there though?**

_I have them motion activated. They'll follow the twins wherever they go._

**So there's one in every room? That's very clever, Padme! Where are they?**

_That's my little secret_

"It's almost done!" Luke explained, "All we need to do is make it so that it'll change back and forth."

Leia crawled over to investigate.

"Oh Luke, you need to…" and thus proceeded to help her brother with the mechanical ins and outs of their droid until their father walked in.*

"Hey guys, have you seen your moth—what are you doing?"

Both twins stood up quickly. "Daddy!" they screeched and started jumping up and down to distract their father from the evidence.

"Um…why are you jumping?"

Leia, the brilliant liar, came up with their answer.

"Because…uh…we're happy to see you?" she ended the lie on a question. If Anakin noticed something strange about his daughter's answer, he didn't let on. Instead he shrugged his shoulders and began bouncing with his twins.

_**Both Padme and Obi Wan burst out laughing at this**_

"Hey, this is kind of fun! We should do this more often!"

The twins, upon seeing their success in distracting their dad from their mischief, came up with a little song to match the odd dance.

"Daddy's here, daddy's here!"

Anakin joined in.

_He can be a little arrogant._

**A little?**

The ruse was up though, once Anakin's sock foot landed on a droid part. His tall frame almost came tumbling down, but he used the Force to stop himself.

_He used the Force! Down 10 points!_

**Yes, but if he hadn't he would've gotten hurt. **

_Well the room wasn't clean and that's another 10 points_

**They were still using the parts!**

_He's losing 10 points Obi Wan. _

**But he stopped himself from getting hurt!**

_And if he hadn't decided to jump around like he was five-years-old, this wouldn't have happened._

"What's this?" Anakin bent to inspect the odd droid part he'd landed on. A strange, fanatical gleam came into his eyes.

"Are you…are you building your first droid!"

The twins looked guiltily at each other.

"…sort of?" Luke offered.

"Wizard!" Anakin exclaimed using the Force to bring his son into his arms. He began to spin Luke around merrily.

**Drat!**

_Another 10 points!_

**Taunting is beneath you, Padme. I WARNED him against frivolous use of the Force.**

_Maybe that's why he does it?_

Leia, not to be outdone jumped up and ran to her father.

"Do me, Daddy! Me next! Me next!"

Anakin laughingly deposited his son neatly on the floor and swept his young daughter off her feet to swing her around as well.

When they were somewhat calmer, Anakin leaned down to inspect the droid.

"So, what does it do?"

The twins looked anywhere but their father, both completely red in the face.

"Um…well…" Luke began to explain but Anakin was already pressing a button on the small spider-like droid. It immediately transformed into a familiar looking comm link.

"Is that…?" The droid/comm cut him off.

"Thank you for calling Obi Wan Kenobi. I am unable to answer the comm right now so if you'll please leave a message after the beep, I'll get back to you…BEEP"

**So that's where that went! I KNEW I shouldn't have told Luke and Leia that story about me fighting the spider monster on Geonosis. Now they think I have arachnophobia!**

_Do you?_

**NO!...um, no of course not!**

_Hmm…_

There was an intense silence and both twins looked at the floor. Anakin however, brightened considerably.

"Are you planning a prank?" he asked excitedly.

The twins' heads shot up, both looking at their father with wild hope.

Anakin raised his chin a quarter inch. "I want in."

**WHAT?**

_Well, it's your own fault for leaving your comm unit at the apartment_

**That's no excuse. He's docked 20 points for this!**

_Hmm, I was going to give him 20 points for such creativity._

**Padme!**

_Fine, fine. There won't be any points given or taken away. Besides, now that you're aware of the prank you can avoid it._

**Or plot revenge**

_I thought Jedi didn't take revenge_

…**Sithspit!**

"…And then I'll just give it to him all innocently: like, 'oh, here's your comm link', and he'll be so shocked when he tries to answer messages! We should add a tiny holocamera on it so we can see his face when it turns into a spider!"

**What is it with you Skywalkers and tiny cameras?**

"We'll deal with that later. Right now we need to have dinner. Do you want me to cook you guys something?"

The twins stared at their father in absolute horror. In fact, Leia went over to her brother who put his arms around her in a gesture of comfort.

"How could you, Daddy? We've been good!" Luke looked up at his father accusingly.

"You like it when I make you breakfast!"

Leia piped up from the shelter of her brother's arms. "We have breakfast at breakfast!"

"Fine, fine you guys win. Dex's?"

"YEAH!" both twins screamed enthusiastically, they began to jump around again. Anakin joined them.

_Dinner from Dex's is not nutritious_

**Well the twins do deserve treats, Padme. Besides, some dishes are nutritious. Wait and see what he orders.**

Anakin grabbed his own comm link

"Hey, Dex! How's lower level Coruscant treating you?…oh, well I don't need to know everything…yeah I need to feed my twin terrors…So I'm thinking two bantha burgers with the usual sides… the fried salty things?…yeah fries…oh, and Padme would probably want me to order a salad…"

The twins made disgusted faces at this

**Ha! At least, ten points for the salad!**

_Fine_

On seeing his precious little ones looking so distraught Anakin added a few more things.

"I need two big fizzy drinks and a box of cookies…12 should be enough."

The twins leapt around him in glee at these orders.

"BE QUIET!...No, not you Dex…go and play in the living room…No I said NOT you Dex…yeah, yeah Obi Wan and I will mosey on over to your joint…it's his birthday next week..."

**He remembered! Automatic twenty points!**

_What does your birthday have to do with taking care of Luke and Leia?_

…**They want to see their favorite Uncle happy?**

_I'll give him 5. No more. _

**I guess that's fair…**

"…of course I remembered!...I've only forgotten five times! Geez…Oh well I got him the best present, it's a …."

_Padme quickly leapt over to Obi Wan and smacked her hands over his ears_

**Ouch!**

"Yeah, I thought it was a great idea too! He'll LOVE it…right, well I'll see you later Dex. Thanks so much!"

_Oh, that IS the perfect present! My husband is so thoughtful…_

**I see YOU decided to give me a headache…**

Anakin strolled into the living room to see his twins balancing precariously on the couch cushions that were spread haphazardly all over the floor.

"What are you doing?"

"DADDY! GET OFF THE CARPET! THE FLOOR IS LAVA!"**

Anakin dutifully leapt onto the caff table, which promptly broke.

_**ANAKIN!**_

*yeah, I don't really know how to change a comm link into a robot spider

**Anyone else ever play that THE FLOOR IS LAVA game? I played it all the time when I was a little girl…yeah, when I was little…alright I played it last week but if you tell anyone I'll deny it completely!

**Anakin's Score So Far: **+5—10—5 +10 + 5 = 0 (Padme will probably take some away for breaking the caff table though...)

I hope you enjoyed this. Please review!


	3. Broken Table

AN: This has a slight reference to it's father fic (so to speak) "The Life He Deserved" but basically all you need to know is that Mace Windu has a soft spot for Leia. She's going to be his padawan one day but Mace is still in denial... :D

**Ayy Kaim: **Forensics! you have a Forensics class? Oh the jealousy! I really _really _wanted to do Forensics (or what my brother's high school called it: Oral Interpretation) but we switched high schools and my high school didn't offer it. I guess I could do it now that I'm in college but then, I'd have to pay for it myself. :( Oh well. Good luck with your ROTS piece though! And thank you for your review :P

**GirlfromNorth: **I'm very happy that you loved the chapter. I think everyone has broken something (or themselves) whilst playing The Floor Is Lava...it's a dangerous game. Anakin just found that out...

and just to remind everyone:

_Padme's comments_

**Obi Wan's comments**

* * *

><p><em>That's...that's...that's minus at least THIRTY POINTS! Right there. He broke my table!<em>

**Thirty...is that really necessary? He'll probably find some way to fix it anyhow...**

_You just be grateful I'm not making it fifty! In fact, I am. He's loosing fifty points for this!_

Holo Anakin looked around dubiously for a minute, as if not really sure what had happened, or rather, why he was on the floor.

Luke slowly came over to stare in shock at his father, who was surrounded by shattered remains.

"The caff table...you killed it." He said in awe, eyes wide.

"Mommy is going to be sooo mad!" added Leia.

_Mommy IS mad!_

"Luke, what are you doing on the ground? I thought the floor was lava!" Anakin clearly was trying to redirect his children's thoughts. With Luke, it worked. He smiled proudly.

"I'm wearing my lava boots*!" Luke patted his thighs for added emphasis.

"How come I didn't get lava boots?" Anakin pouted.

Little Leia rolled her eyes, "Because you're Daddy. You can float yourself around."

Anakin face palmed.

"What do we do, Daddy." Both twins abandoned their game and stared at what used to be the caff table. Anakin slowly rose, looked down, and groaned.

"Padme is going to KILL me!"

**I've already planned your funeral, my friend. Even I cannot save you.**

_Geez, why are you guys being so dramatic? I'm not that terrifying._

**...right. Not at all.**

Luke stretched out a little hand toward the ruin, only to be snatched up by his father.

"Lukie! Don't touch the shards you could get a metal splinter, or worse, you could cut yourself!"

Leia on the other hand had run passed her father and was lying down where Anakin had been just moments before. She giggled.

"Look Dad! You made a bed!" She settled down, comfortably leaning on the slanted left slab of the broken table.

"LEIA! Get out of there before you get hurt!" Letting his son's shoulders go, Anakin swooped down and caught Leia up in his arms.

Then the doorbell rang.

"WHAT ELSE COULD GO WRONG!" Anakin yelled to the ceiling, dramatically.

**This isn't an overreaction at all**

_Well it is ANAKIN..._

"I'll get it!" Luke happily chirped and ran over to activate the door. On the opposite side stood his worst nightmare.

"Young Skywalker. I need to speak to your father on important Council business. Would you please go get him?"

Master Windu towered over the tiny blonde boy, his big booming voice demanded absolute obediance. It intimidated Luke to no end. It absolutely terrified him.

Leia however, was not intimidated in the least.

"MACE!" she happily leapt out of Anakin's arms and landed clumsily on the floor with a loud thump. Anakin winced in sympathy, but Leia simply got up and ran over to embrace her 'giant' friend's leg.

"Leia, I told you to call me Master Windu." The voice held the same commanding tone as it had earilier, in fact Luke hid behind his father's leg, but it had absolutely no effect on Leia.

"Okay, Mace! Did you bring me any cookies?"

"Ugh, no Leia. I NEVER have cookies, what gave you that idea." Mace gave Leia an obvious I-told-you-never-to-bring-that-up-in-public glare as he stooped to pick the little girl up.

"Oh right, you have candy-I mean, no you never give me sweets." Leia looked at her father hopefully.

"That's okay, Leia. Master Windu isn't known for sweet. But I just bought lots of cookies, so there's no worries there."

_He didn't catch on, did he?_

**Doesn't look like it.**

Both gave a sigh of relief. Anakin moved on to other subjects.

"Mace, I'm so glad you're here! I need you to-"

"I didn't stop by for pleasantries, Skywalker," Master Windu cut him off whilst trying not to cuddle the little girl in his arms too obviously, "I wanted to..."

"There's no time for pleasantries. I completely agree! I need you to help-"

"Skywalker!" Mace set Leia down and took out three datapads he'd been keeping in his purs-er-satchel, "These are the debates that are going to be discussed during the next Council meeting, I need you to look ove-"

"There's no time for that now!" Anakin exclaimed, batting the datapads away from a surprised Windu's hand. They crashed onto the floor.

**He would never have gotten away with that four years ago.**

_Perhaps we could give him 5 points for bravery?_

**He deserves it, I think. **

"Please, I need a favor!"

Mace looked at Anakin, then at the broken caff table, then back at Anakin.

"You need me to go out and buy a table exactly like your old one, don't you."

"...Yes"

"How did you even break your table in the first place?"

"Hey! Why do you immediately assume I broke it?"

_Never mind the fact that he did indeed break it._

Master Windu looked down at Luke, who was peaking out at him from behind his father's leg. One little thumb was stuck in his mouth and Luke's blue eyes were wide with innocense. Leia was currently fixing him with the classic I'm-too-adorable-to-have-done-anything-wrong stare.

"You definately did it. And I did not come here to play delivery boy."

"But I need you! Padme will make me sleep on the couch!"

**That's not so bad, this couch is actually very comfortable. I've slept on it for the past four Life Days.**

_And you will spend this Life Day making us breakfast_

**This is a minor setback, Padme. Don't get your hopes up.**

"Your marital disputes are none of my concern."

Anakin decided to change tactics. He bent down and picked Leia up.

"How could you say 'no' to this face?" Leia pouted quite prettily. She was complimented by Anakin who was giving Master Windu the same face, but wasn't pulling it off nearly as well. In fact, he looked ridiculous. Luke peaked out from behind Anakin's leg and stared up at Master Windu imploringly, one little thumb still stuck in his mouth.

Master Windu's hard exterior was washed away on a wave of Skywalker charm. He sighed.

"What kind of table is it?"

Luke and Anakin joyfully ran over to check.

"I think it's Fine Corescanti Tables and Chairs Inc. Should be a classic make, and cost about 95 credits."

Mace wasn't listening to him, he was currently leaning down and giving Leia something.

"And be sure to give this chocolate to your brother ok-what was that? Tables and Chairs Inc.? 95 credits? Fine. I expect to be paid back in full. Read those datapads! Bye."

Mace left.

_It's so cute how he dotes on her like that._

**Don't put the word "cute" and Mace together in one sentence, Padme. It's disturbing.**

"Bye-bye, Master Windu." Luke whispered to the retreating Jedi. Anakin patted Luke on the head sympathetically.

"I was intimidated by him when I was little too, Luke. He's not the easiest person to get close to. There's a wall there.**"

Leia rolled her eyes, "I don't see what you're so scared about. Mace is nice! You're just a scaredy-baby."

"I am not!" replied Luke.

And the ever faithful, "am not!" "are to!" arguement started.

Anakin was too busy cleaning up his mess to notice. However, before the fight could esculate to dangerous levels, the doorbell sounded again.

The Skywalkers suddenly remembered the food they'd ordered from Dex.

"COOKIES!"

AN: Well, I hope you enjoyed that. As always please review and feel free to leave any ideas you'd like to see.

*lava boots were actually my invention ^_^ I used that excuse when I ran out of pillows to jump to

**Who recognized "The Emperor's New Groove" quote? Anyone?

**Anakin's score: 0-50 +5 = -45**


End file.
